February 11th, 2014:
I am sorry about not posting during my chemotherapy and radiation treatment, but I felt too tired to put the effort into doing much. I have been glued to television, playing video games, and sleeping. I know, tasks which involve minimal effort and thoughts. But, honestly, reading made me nauseous; typing made me feel exhausted; thinking, especially when it came to writing, required a lot of energy, I did not have any energy, though I felt extremely energetic and lethargic at the same time. Anyways, on to the post.
Chemotherapy is not something most people should spend much time concerning themselves with – it is not scary. I wondered how it would make me feel since I had to read an encyclopedia of possible effects and outcomes of chemotherapy. It ranged from the simplest of illnesses (nausea, vomiting, headaches, etc.) to the worst possible outcome (death). The doctor asked a question, “What percentage of illnesses do you believe you will suffer from?” to which I replied, “Twenty percent at the most.” He looked rather shocked and said with the way my blood and urine analysis looked, he would be surprised if I suffered from ten percent of the illnesses listed on the encyclopedia of chemotherapy and radiation. He was spot-on. I have only suffered from nausea and fatigue. So, it is my belief that with a strong body and a positive outlook, chemotherapy and radiation treatment should not be the concern of those facing cancer.
In video games, particularly Role Playing Games (RPG), magicians usually have a spell called “fatigue” which usually causes an enemy or player to slow down, become slower when regenerating health, and other physical inabilities. RPGs also have a spell called “vigor” which if you know the meaning is strength, energy, or determination; in other words, it makes your hero or anti-hero stronger. Oddly, I felt both spells at the same time. I felt like a Final Fantasy character that has had fatigue cast on him followed by a player casting vigor on me. It was a contradiction of feeling, in a physical sense. My grip and body felt strong during and after treatment, but at the same time I also felt slow and physically unable to perform at a high level during and after treatment. I found it interesting to have two opposing feelings at most moments of non-slumber. I just dealt with it and continue to progress and move forward. Ain’t no stopping me, rectal cancer.
I have the utmost confidence in my treatment. The doctors, radiologist, and nursing staff have made treatment fun, easy, and comforting. If you happen to be in Seoul, South Korea, I would highly recommend the Seoul St. Mary’s Hospital, Catholic Medical Center for all of your medical needs with the exception of sperm banking.
First, I need to mention the nurses in Gangnam Songmo (taxi drivers understand that name) because they are absolutely wonderful. They have helped me feel comfortable. Some speak English, some don’t speak English, but regardless, they smile and are extremely helpful and friendly. It helps my mood to know that they are genuinely curious and will try, in their best English, to tell me which room to enter, and which chair number I will occupy that day, I understand if they tell me in Korean – thanks, Jay (girl) – which room number and chair number, but I think they enjoy trying their English out on me. I do not know if most of you understand how wonderful you feel when you are treated in such a manner, especially when facing an illness that can, but won’t, kill you. Thank you, nurses.
Second, Sang-Eun (the “a” in “Sand” is pronounced “ah”; “Eun” would be written “Oon”) and Pyeong-Jin (this name sounds almost the same, but “Jin” should be pronounced “Jean” like jeans) have been awesome with radiation treatment. Sang-Eun, the female, is always welcoming and she has learned how to say move forward, go back a little, and always has a nice little laugh at the end of her English sentences/phrases. I am no longer embarrassed to pull my pants and underwear down in front when she directs me to pull them down. Pyeong-Jin, the male, is tall and is also learning basic phrases, but he has become more daring asking where I live in Seoul, which country do you come from, and do you like soju… Haha! Normal question in Korea: Do you like soju? The answer: absolutely not! Anyways, I thank them for making my radiation therapy comforting and easy.
Lastly, I want to thank my body. It has been stronger than any other body in human history. It is like Superman, the Man of Steel, and it continues to surpass the Man of Steel. I have become thinner, I am back to age 18 weight, 147 pounds (67 kg), but it is disgusting. I actually enjoy weighing around 160 pounds because skin and bones is not cool. Regardless of that flaw, my body is holding up very well and it will continue to do so as long as I eat my fruits and veggies daily. Meat, pizza, breads, and other processed foods are being taken out of my diet, so it is likely that I will thin out a little more, which is fine because I will gain some weight back following treatment and surgery. Until then, becoming thin is not a problem as long as my body continues to flourish.
Everyone, talk to you later, or write to you later. Time for a shower and time to sleep. Radiation treatment is Monday through Friday at 10:00 in the morning, and it usually takes an hour to get there. So, sleep is important. It is midnight. Goodnight/Good day world.
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